My Father, who is originally from Rangpur, came to the UK in 1962; six months after graduating from Dhaka Medical College. He began working at various hospital jobs in different locations in England, and in 1966 he married my Mother (who is originally from Gopalganj). My elder Brother was born shortly after, in Birmingham, and in 1974 my Father settled down as a GP in Wolverhampton, where both my second eldest Brother and I were born.

During the 1971 struggle for independence, my elder Brother (who was 3 years old at the time) had gone on holiday to Dhaka with my Mother, in February. My Father was to join them later. However, when the attacks began in March, they became caught up in the midst of it. My Brother remembers being very scared of the gunfire, and having to flee at night by speedboat, and launch to reach my Boro Chacha’s house in Gopalganj. He was a District Judge there at the time (it is also my Nana Bari and the town which Sheikh Mujib is from). In the meantime my Father had no contact with them and became frantic, so he arranged a ticket via a friend who worked for PIA and went via Karachi to Dhaka. Needless to say it was in very critical circumstances that he managed to somehow reach Gopalganj over a very long and frightening journey. My Father tells me prayers were being offered in Birmingham at the mosque by his friends, as they believed he may not make it back home. A funny, but telling incident is the fact that when he reached his elder Brother’s house, in the dead of the night, and began knocking, my Boro Chacha refused to open the door, as no one believed my Father could really have come from the UK! He was calling out my Mother’s name, and saying “Open the door!”, but they were all afraid it was the Army, and refused to do so! My Brother wrote an essay on this for his school when he was older, and in his words he remembers saying “Joi Bangla” while on the journey back to the UK, and my Father clutching his mouth shut and telling him to speak English when they were travelling through Pakistan!

My Parents worked hard in ensuring that as a family we imbibed the rich culture of Bangladesh by involving us in a number of social events. My growing up years are filled with memories of my Parents’ friends, who we called Uncles and Aunties, and their children, and it was through these ties that we formed a first generation of British Bangladeshis, and identified our ‘‘Deshi family’. I learnt Bangla mainly first through music. My Mother is a gifted singer and although she has no formal training, she can sing classical ‘Nazrul shongeet’. My Father (alongside being a very busy GP) was at the forefront of setting up a number of cultural societies. He was the President of the Bangladeshi Doctors Medical Association, the Dhaka Medical College Society, the Overseas Doctors Association and the Bangladesh Cultural Society. These social events often involved families from all over the UK coming together to celebrate important religious and historical events such as Eid, 21st February day, Victory day and Annual Summer events. I would participate in Bengali dramas, and from the age of three, I also followed suit from my Mother and began singing and dancing at all the functions that were held by these various groups. In fact I even performed on stage in school in an effort to expose my culture to my peers, and throughout university and thereafter, I have been known for always maintaining my dual cultural heritage.

I am very proud of my identity and origins. Both my Dada, and my Boro Chacha, graduated from the University of Aligarh and became Judges. I have tried to follow in their footsteps by qualifying as a Barrister myself. My Dada was from a Farming background and went to a village school, however he worked hard to become educated and undertook his Law Degree. My Dadi was from an esteemed aristocratic family, and she sacrificed a lot to bring up her children while my Grandfather moved the family every two years to a new town. My Father tells me he moved to many different schools, including a Roman Catholic school and a predominantly Hindu school, this shows he belonged to a very broad minded and culturally integrated family.

I am also very proud of the heritage of my Boro Fupa, Captain Mansur Ali, who played a large part in the independence of Bangladesh. He married my Father’s eldest Sister when they were both very young, and consequently my Dada sent him to Aligarh along with my Boro Chacha to study Law. He then became keenly active in Politics and became a key member of Sheikh Mujibur Rahman’s Cabinet within the Awami League. In 1975, he went on to become Prime Minister of Bangladesh and he paid the ultimate sacrifice when he was martyred in jail following the assassination of Sheikh Mujib.

My Father has also been very inspiring for me. He was in fact awarded an MBE in 2002 (during the Queen’s birthday Honours) for his outstanding work in patient care. He has always been a benchmark for us and along with my family culture, I have had great role models, to look up to. I feel it is their influence which has helped me in becoming a forward-thinking, proud British Bangladeshi woman.

My wish is also to see my children reflect and represent their heritage and be as proud as I am of our roots. My Husband, Mahbub, who is also a British Bangladeshi, is equally supportive of this.

However, one thing I do regret is that both my Son and Daughter are unable to actually speak Bengali fluently as yet, mainly due to my husband and I communicating in English at home. This is something I do hope to change! I hope to be able to take them on more trips to Bangladesh, just as I had done while growing up. My summer holidays were filled with the memories of my relatives spoiling me with love and that is in essence why I felt I belonged there as much as I did here. 

Written by Nabila Choudhury