BLOG: The Compass for Courage
Ruth Sutherland CBE wanted to create something for other voluntary and community leaders as her parting gift as she stepped down as CEO of Samaritans after 5 fantastic years [in November 2020]. This is when Ruth created the initiative ‘The Compass for Courage’; a gift to be shared amongst leaders and peers, as a way to share thoughts, ideas and musings, especially during turbulent times.
The Compass would be passed on from leader to leader to share new ideas, points of view, learnings and courageous tales. This is to remind them that, as leaders, they are never alone and will always have something new to learn.
Poppy Jaman OBE, Founder of Re-Balance, felt honoured that after Ruth introduced The Compass for Courage to the world, she then handed it to her so that she could add her own thoughts and continue the legacy.
‘I pass the compass to Poppy Jaman, CEO City Mental Health Alliance, a brave and passionate, audacious leader who I hugely admire and has a great story to share…’ Ruth Sutherland CBE.
So here she’s proud to share her contribution to The Compass for Courage, as she asks herself;
‘What is it to be a leader for social good?’
On Tuesday 10th October 2017 I was invited to 10 Downing Street to meet the Prime Minister [Theresa May] and her Cabinet. It was World Mental Health Day. I had been asked to put forward a proposal, here in the UK, for an online public mental health platform.
Fast forward to today, and that platform is now known as Every Mind Matters. It focuses on the things each of us can do to protect and improve our individual and collective mental health.
The night before my visit to Downing Street, I remember not getting a wink of sleep. Upon arriving early the next day, I waited nervously as the entire Cabinet gathered outside the imposing wood-panelled door of the Cabinet room. A few minutes before the start of the meeting, the Prime Minister walked down the hallway towards us. She stopped in front of me and shook my hand. It felt surreal to be stood there, holding the hand of only the second female Prime Minister of our country.
There we were, two very different people, brought together on an agenda that unites everyone - mental health.
We had one thing in common: our gender. In just about every other respect, we’re worlds apart. Height, colour, education, childhoods, class, affluence and influence. Yet there we were, shaking hands in the grand hallway of one of the most famous addresses in the world.
I was born in rural Bangladesh, in a house made of mud and straw. There was no sanitation, no running water, no electricity. We moved to this country when I was 18 months old. I did well at school, but my education stopped abruptly at the age of 17, when I ran away from home.
My parents were typical of migrant communities; proud to be British, relentless in their efforts to contribute and embrace the opportunities Britain offered. Yet they were unsettled with a constant yearning for ‘home’. They worked around the clock, and often struggled to afford the weekly shop, let alone my school trips. My Dad kept boxes of panes of glass to replace our broken windows, as it was easier to keep fixing the damage than to work with the authorities to stop racist violence happening. These are the experiences that made me who I am today. Remaining connected to my roots and recognising my privilege is an important part of being a leader for social good.
I recognised, early on, that visibility was crucial for success and for being an effective role model to others who, like me, might sometimes question their credibility. This was a challenge as I was raised amongst social norms, where girls were not to be seen or heard. The journey towards becoming a visible leader at times took its toll on my mental health. I was aware that breaking social norms meant putting at risk relationships that I valued and needed. It meant that I was disrupting the status quo and that disruption would often be met with fear and actions that sought to contain or exclude me.
For me it was recognising that discrimination had led me to contorting myself into shapes that enabled me to fit into the space ‘allowed’ for me. I had grown to adapt like a chameleon, and change colour to suit my surroundings, and in so doing I had lost my identity.
The journey towards understanding what visibility and recognition means to me continues and so far I have learnt that influencing is more important to me than both. However, the key 'Downing Street' milestone was certainly an reaffirmation that a balance of some kind was now starting to appear.
It’s a great honour to be recognised as a leader, but given my background, perhaps it’s not surprising that despite all I achieve, doubts and questions remain in my mind. At times of vulnerability, when courage is shaken, I find myself lost in questions such as: ‘Am I credible?’, ‘Am I being included or am I here because I tick a number of diversity boxes?’, ‘Is the wisdom I’ve gained from my lived experiences being valued, or am I here because I’ve struggled with my mental health and am now well enough to be an acceptable and rational voice at the table of mental health expertise?’
I have written about my early life struggles. Today, my life couldn’t be more different. I’m a middle-class woman living a blessed and privileged life, far removed from those early hardships.
On this first day of a new year, 2021, I look around and begin to take stock. I ask if we have succeeded in making the kind of difference I expect from us, the leaders for social good.
It’s periods of vulnerability that remind me of my focus and the fact that leadership for social good is the passion and mission. I firmly believe that a leader for social good has to lead by example. We must talk-the-talk by both supporting and actively participating.
Above all being a leader for social good means building self-trust which requires being transparent and accountable, being personally vulnerable, taking risks, speaking up, talking about my failures, consciously choosing alignment with my values.
I strongly believe that, in order to be part of a balanced, healthy society, we need to create opportunities for restitution, and that starts with knowing myself and learning to practice self-care and self-soothing.
It’s that very balance that lies at the heart of my new global organisation, Re-Balance — an organisation that stands for equality and commitment to rebalance people’s lives for the better.
I promise to continue being radical and relentless in my expectations of myself, and to do better. Just like my parents did. I will take pride in leading by example. I will make mistakes and I will forgive.
Equity depends on dismantling discrimination and replacing it with fairness. Without equality a healthy society simply isn’t possible.
I have posted the Compass for Courage to Hamish Elvidge founder of the Matthew Elvidge Trust; an incredible charity raising awareness and understanding of the importance of good wellbeing and mental health, especially focussing on our young generation. Hamish is a courageous parent and a thoughtful leader. His message is clear and he is relentless with it. I was raised to learn from the wisdom of our diverse experiences and the past to guide the future and so over to you Hamish for the next chapter.
If anyone reading this needs support, or more information on Mental Health please see...
- Time To Talk Day, on the 4th February 2021
- Our Frontline
Photo credit: Laura Hayek