Re-Balance

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A woman who is changing her world through law, art and her children

Imagine a young girl, quiet, timid and sensitive, but a head full of big dreams – this little girl was me. She was painfully shy and incredibly ‘sensible’ from a young age. She moved with her large family from Bangladesh to inner city Birmingham at the age of almost 10 in the 1980s, unable to speak any English. Hugely daunting was the task of making new friends and acclimatising to the change in climate, culture, and identity. She missed home and its familiarity. She had moved from a world where she was known and where she was comfortable to be thrown into the depths of confusion where so much of life was lost in translation.

A big part of her year at primary school was spent learning English. She was desperate to decipher the unknown words and add meaning and clarity in her life. At the dinner table she often translated in her head the conversations in Bangla that were taking place, eager to feel a sense of belonging. Thus, at times she may have come across as a day dreamer, but in reality she was unweaving the coded language, trying hard to unpick and create a little path for herself, however cobbled and disjointed.

At secondary school, she was bullied for being different, called names and soon labelled as a “swot”. The bullies tried to diminish her confidence by mocking her, name calling and generally being unkind. They chipped away at her. But each time, she would renew herself with greater strength and courage until they could do no more.

 Despite leaving school with the highest GCSEs in her year she was encouraged to consider vocational courses instead of the academic A Levels. She didn’t have a guide, an academic mentor or simply put, privilege. Defying this open declaration of poor faith by her school mentor, she did A Levels. This was her protest. This was her self-advocacy. But she was then torn as to whether to take Art or Law as a degree – ultimately choosing the latter because it had a structured career path and financial security. As someone who was part of family on benefits, lived in a council estate and went to a ‘rough’ school – financial stability and social mobility were important. Art had to take a back seat and so for long, it did.  

She was the first in her family to go to university and allowed by her dad to live away from home. This was a big ask of a man from his generation and background, but he believed wholeheartedly in her. She felt she was leading the way, not only for her younger siblings but for the Bangladeshi community that surrounded her. Like her father, she was willing to go against the expectations that the world had on them. Together they were brave and pushed boundaries. She had grit, was determined to succeed, and prove the naysayers wrong by excelling in all that she did. These paths weren’t designed for her or aligned with guiding light, but she bulldozed her way through the barriers forming her own light as she went, one step at a time.

After graduation from a top University, this girl got onto the management programme for a major retailer, and later secured a legal training contract with a large London firm. She was growing both personally and professionally and her career started to take off. With all the hard work, commitment and sacrifices made, she qualified as a solicitor into an area of law she loved. But the journey was not always easy. It was unchartered waters for her, and she was building her boat as she was in the waters. She was often the only person with brown skin in the room. If this wasn’t difficult enough, she faced prejudices, assumptions and stereotypes along the way that tried to box her, close her in and create the ceilings. These were even more pronounced when she chose to wear a headscarf.  But she continued to hold her own light for herself, being her own advocate and pushing boundaries all the while.

Over twenty years after qualification, she is a Legal Director, a mentor, a mum to three fantastic teenage boys and married to an incredible man. She is now in a place where she can create capacity for other strands of her passion to blossom. The path of her early days has opened up space for her art to take shape now, much like the wonderful wilderness. She is creating time for art and through it express her feelings, experiences and values.  It’s no wonder that some of her paintings take us to her journey through the path of her life – from the serenity of Bangladesh to her depictions of Birmingham.

 This little girl is now a woman: a woman who is changing her world through law, art and her children. With her partner, they have created a home that is a blend of their identities, where broken Bangla is spoken, rice and curry is eaten at dinner over discussions and debates (on topics as diverse as politics, football and films) where prayers are offered in congregation and extended family are central. Her artwork reflects the interconnections of her identities – as a Bangladeshi, a ‘Brummie’, a Muslim and someone who loves travelling, nature and architecture.

Take a look at some of Hanna’s wonderful work and witness glimpses of her journey through her paintbrush. Her artwork can be found on instagram @creativebyhanna.