BLOG: How couples yoga helps us grow together

Poppy brought yoga into our world. My first memory of her practice is her going to an open day in a London park. She came back with a look I love so much, where I can see her mind whirring away and a smile in the corner of her mouth.

Yoga didn’t make sense to me at all. I couldn’t understand how so many saw it as exercise. To me it’s a spiritual practice and one that wasn’t for me.

I did start to open to it more as I watched our youngest daughter finding calm, strength and a space for herself in her yoga practice. I couldn’t ignore what I saw and felt from her.

July 3 years ago we were in Scotland celebrating our wedding anniversary. On a beautiful sunny afternoon in an ideal setting of fields and a stream, we shared one of our favourite pastimes of enjoying each other’s company and celebrating our world. Poppy had printed all the photos from our wedding and we spent hours going through them and reliving that time. Then she suggested we try some yoga together. Even wrapped in the joy of us and feeling so connected I was a very reluctant yoga partner.

I started seeing Poppy’s flexibility. Her physical strength. I am still in awe of how powerful her core is. She led. She encouraged. She shared. I made jokes. I disagreed with how she explained the postures. I tried to distract her. I didn’t want to do it. Eventually I followed.

The more postures she led us through the more adamant I became my body couldn’t move in certain ways. I would surely dislocate my hip or shoulder if I continued. As time went on two realisations dawned on me. Firstly, I wasn’t as fit, strong or as flexible as I told myself. Never a nice recognition. Second, my body felt scared. I started to realise how tense I was. How even at my most relaxed I held my body in certain ways which now felt locked, stiff and awkward.

“Over the coming months Poppy created space for us to explore more together. In truth I didn’t get too involved. Then for Christmas she got us an introduction to yoga with a local teacher. One of those gifts the giver actually wants for themselves I thought.”

I am so grateful she did. That’s how we met Sumiya. Sumiya helped me feel my way further into yoga. She was matter of fact, yet open. She has a knack of creating a safe space where it makes sense to trust her and get involved.

There was a week away on a yoga retreat which was another significant step in my journey. After these two experiences I’d love to say yoga became a daily practice for me. Time moved on. Life is busy. In the first lockdown I started running and exercising again, using yoga to stretch out afterwards. It was very functional. I focused on getting the moves right then moving on.

Poppy and I started practising regularly together when Sumiya ventured into online classes. I deeply valued the connection it gave us. It created a wonderful opportunity to watch her move and flow - she is beautiful. It also gave us an environment and emerging language to connect with. Moments to focus together. I noticed the difference it brought to us both individually and as a couple. When we were struggling with ourselves or each other it was a place for us to be more at peace, even if just moments.

Yoga clicked in me, and I wanted more. Poppy took the lead again and introduced us to couple yoga and the joy of using each other’s bodies to further stretch and move. Encouraging and supporting. Enabling and developing. We did this before bed and I loved it.

Now I practice most days. I’m enjoying the change it’s making both physically and emotionally. Often I struggle to find the focus and motivation. Sometimes I simply can’t be bothered. When I find moments of joy, fear, expanding, calm or power, they reinforce why I practice. They are reminders this is more than treating aching muscles and the results of poor posture.

There are so many wonders Poppy has brought into my world. Her (mostly) patient persistence over the years with yoga has strengthened us both individually and as couple. A gift for which I am deeply grateful.